Creativity is a very fickle creature. It never leaves you, but it will hide from you, and you can guarantee that it sure as hell will not make it easy for you to find it again.
Sometimes it’s a monster. Sometimes it’s an angel.
Sometimes it’s tame, easy for you to deal with. Other times it’s like a stubborn teacher who refuses to come out of their room.
Right now I can’t find my creativity. We started our little game of hide and seek around about mid July and I haven’t been able to find it since. Which is slightly concerning when I have to hand in three pieces of creative coursework over the next couple of weeks.
Everything I write comes out of forced inspiration and I don’t feel passionate about it. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the Muses do make an appearance, but their stay is fleeting and my pen can’t write fast enough.
My notebook is full of nonsensical scribbles. I flick through it and feel lukewarm and indifferent towards my words.
So, this afternoon I decided enough was enough. I riffled through the boxes under my bed and pulled out my notebooks of summers past. Going through work that I’d long forgetting; my words, the doodles, the images, the colours filled me with satisfaction. And then the penny dropped.
Without me even knowing, the pressures and constancy of the demands of life had caught up with me and completely altered my creative process. I’d lost sight of what actually makes me tick. I was writing because I felt like it was an obligation rather than because it was something I wanted to do, something I actually enjoyed. And ultimately that change in attitude was very oppressive.
Subconsciously I abandoned My Writing Habits; techniques which would (almost) always trigger creative thoughts and my creative process, and then I was just left with a computer screen and my uninspired fingers which wouldn’t, couldn’t type anything worth while.
Which leads me to my book.
My precious baby, stuck in it’s second draft, and right now I don’t have the power to give any more to it. It’s be no means done, not even close, and there’s a lot of work that I could be doing to it…
But now isn’t the right time.
Now that I have my vision back I need to spend some time dedicated to new and fresh ideas. Ideas that excite me. Ideas that I’m passionate about.
Then, and only then, my book will be ready for me. But most importantly, I’ll be ready for my book.
I’ll be back with updates some time in April 2018!
Copyright: Laura Davis © 2017, all rights reserved.