So, Summer 2017 is over.
From my window, I’m greeted with a densely grey clouded sky and a plethora of trees which are making a fast transition from their bright, healthy greens (the colour of fresh play dough) to their warm winter reds and crisp browns. In no time at all the branches will be bare and the floor peppered with soggy leaves.
I love it.
The good thing about still being a student is that every Autumn we get to take part in this ceremonious feeling of starting again. We’re over come with the need to get ourselves back on track, remind ourselves of our goals, introduce new goals, reflect and just make the most of the rest of the year…then we start the process all over again in January.
It’s what we need! We spend so much time getting caught up in the pressures and time constraints of life that we end up building a little bubble around ourselves. For months we stay cooped up inside this bubble, ambling through each stressful day with no time to give ourselves a reality check.
I’ve deprived myself of a lot of rest this summer, which means that I’m starting my second year on about 40% rather than 100%. I have a cold (I refuse to call it freshers flu seeing as, a. I’m not a fresher, b. I don’t even live on campus and, c. I haven’t even set foot on campus yet), I have zero energy and quite frankly I’m lacking inspiration, which is a creative writer’s worst nightmare.
But I’m not giving up.
The past week or so has definitely been a time of reflection. Over the summer I’ve tasked myself with churning out one blog post a week, a holiday (research trip) to Ireland, working on the second draft of my book, moving, attempting to build my professional platform and a really tough month or so of freelancing.
I’m not saying that I’ve come away from the summer without learning anything about the labours and requirements of being in my chosen field, because I really have, but attempting to work 7 days a week with no proper rest period is not healthy and gets you nowhere.
I’ve accepted my mistakes and I’m ready to start again. Which means that changes need to be made.
The future of my blog between now and Christmas is somewhat uncertain. Truth be told, I’ve lost the passion for what I’m writing about because I’ve been so busy forcing out new ideas week after week that I’ve lost touch with what inspires me and catches my interest.
One of my goals this year was to be excited about the things I write and to love it like it was already on the shelf. I recognise that as a writer, it’s important to post as much as I can, but I don’t want to lose my voice by writing about topics that don’t excite me. I would not be being true to myself or my passion.
I’m releasing the pressure and using my time up until the end of the year to rebuild my love for writing and my own words. I want to feel the spontaneity of sitting in a park on a freezing cold day and have that itch to reach for my notebook and pen, noticing the simplest, most mundane detail and turning it into something amazing.
I want to be more proactive so that when I am inspired, I quickly write it down instead of telling myself that I’ll do it later.
So, here I am, sitting at my desk, breathing in the fresh, cold scent of ripe earth, and starting again…
Copyright: Laura Davis © 2017, all rights reserved.